Perhaps it is something that happens to me when I travel (and I am away at a conference while I write this) the solitude of the flights and the panels causes me to engage in self-reflection. Rarely does this mental motion take me to a happy place, and lately I have been thinking a great deal about what I am doing, really asking myself, "what will I make of my life?"
I am increasingly of the opinion that I have treated my life as though it was a dress rehearsal for most of my adult years. In other words, as though I am going to get a second chance at this and consequently can be somewhat cavalier about what I do now. This seems a poor way to live, as that second chance is an illusion. I guess that this may be the mid-life existential crisis, but I haven't the other trappings of that trope (spouse, children, house), so perhaps this is something different.
I don't know what to do with this revelation.
