Perhaps you remember the 2002 Hugh Grant film in which the life of a layabout playboy happens to intersect with that of a good-hearted, but bullied and clueless, twelve-year old boy. Heartwarming comic hijinx ensue. It's an odd couple that only a Nick Hornby novel could provide... until now.
Enter Lunchbox*. Lunchbox is my first cousin once removed (my cousin's son) and he's 11 years old.** In the coming weeks, months, and perhaps years, I will be his mentor. One of the crippling realities of life is that it's very hard to say no to your mother. Truthfully, I had a lot in common with him at that age - I too loved video games, food, and saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times. However, our home lives could not have been more different, thus the need for a steadying male influence in his life.
What are we going to do you ask? Great question; you always were a sharp one. Thus far we've gone out for Mexican food, went to Wal-Mart (I now know more about Skylanders than you do), and taken in The Lego Movie (most excellent). There will be some homework and tutoring. We'll cook, starting with things that use ground beef and a box, eventually graduating to things that involve ground beef without a box (my specialty) When the winter ends I'll no doubt force him to go on walks around the neighborhood, hopefully without having to use a rope to pull him around. Perhaps we'll go to bars and pick up chicks. The world is our oyster!
*Note: Lunchbox is not his real name.
** His mother is 9 months younger than me. Imagine if I had an 11 year old son (shudders involuntarily).
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