On Final Exams:
"The
University establishes the schedule for final examinations, and as such I will not offer an alternate examination
time, so make your end-of-term travel plans accordingly. Addendum “A” contains the examination dates
and times. Tell Mom and Pop, or Mom, or
Pop, or whomever, now, so they don’t “surprise” you with a plane ticket home. They certainly will be surprised when they see your grade. The same rule applies for Spring Break. Rumor has it that high-stakes quizzes are
frequent visitors to the class periods immediately prior to and following this
bizarre, but much-lauded, collegiate ritual."
On Bathroom Use:
"I
am baffled by the constant stream (pun intended) of students who walk in and
out of classes while they are in session.
By baffled, I mean annoyed, and by annoyed, I mean angered. Attend to your bodily functions prior to
class."
On Dressing for Formal Business Events:
“Business
professional” attire is required.
To loosely paraphrase a (now retired) colleague: “For men this means a clean,
pressed, and presentable dress shirt, tie, belt or suspenders, dark socks, pants
or trousers (not jeans or khakis) and a sport coat (with appropriate dress
shoes – no matter how much you paid for them, sneakers are not dress shoes) or
a business suit; for women, it means clean, pressed (as necessary) and
presentable clothing and closed-toe footwear
appropriate to a business occasion, not a sporting event or a Hollywood
ball. While you may look stunning in
those five-inch stiletto heels, they are not appropriate attire. If you choose to wear a skirt or dress, and
you need to take even a solitary moment to consider how you would sit without
embarrassment in a solitary chair facing an attentive audience then it is too short
for this event.” Generally speaking you
should seek to cultivate a look that is tasteful, clean, refined, timeless, and
forgettable. You will be representing the University and
me while you are in attendance; you do not want to disappoint either of
us. Failure to dress appropriately will
result in a reduction of your overall grade.
If the dress requirements for this dinner will present you with
difficulties, for any reason, please come and speak with me at least two weeks
in advance.
On attendance:
"If
you have a legitimate and provable reason for missing class let me know in
advance and I will give your application due consideration. All such applications must be made in
writing (by e-mail attachment) and are considered formal writing assignments. They must be submitted in a memo format. In the end, it is your responsibility to take
attendance seriously. My ego may suffer
some damage from repeated mass absences, but that is repairable given
time. However, it is my experience that
students who do not attend lecture diligently usually fail the course (and
life). Please consider the following: if
you cannot arrive on time and attend a class for a grand total of 210 of the
10,800 minutes in a week (1.94 %), why would anyone in their right mind want to
hire you? That’s correct; class
attendance consumes less than 2% of the total number of minutes in a week. Most of you probably spend more time each
week playing video games, on social media, texting and tweeting, eating, showering,
engaging in reckless and disgusting behavior, or simply gazing at the walls of
your room."
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