Zebras, internal combustion, Christmas, and a bow tie.

[I am inspired to recount this story after reading my esteemed co-author's offering of the life and death of the Mercury Topaz]




This was Christmas day, oh, call it (as Flaco Jimenez does) "Nineteen Hundred and throw it away," (or around 1991) and I was the owner (proud owner) of a 1967 VW Westfalia Camper.  Neat, yes, all the more-so for its delightful paint scheme: Zebra stripes, top-to-bottom, roof included.  I bought the beast that way, and remember to this day my mother falling to the ground with laughter when first I drove it up to the house.

Now, this VW was somewhat on the conspicuous side, so I drove always with caution, and with strict adherence to the rules of the road.  The double-reduction gearboxes in the hubs that limited the top-speed to about 55mph helped in that effort, as did the roughly 54 bhp motor!  In any case, I drove the bus, on and off, for about 3 years, with only one instance of unwarranted police attention, which is the source of this story.

Having spent the day with family, I departed the manse and proceeded to gather two good friends, D and M, as we planned to head to the house of a friend of another friend, in nearby Carteret, New Jersey.

D sat in the front passenger seat, dressed, as was his norm, in a leather biker's jacket, Dr. Marten's and a stern expression, I was wearing combat boots, a flight jacket, but hardly menacing with my John Lennon glasses and long hair.  M sat in the back, on the rear bench.  Since the bus was a camper, that was the only other seat.  M, as always, dressed neatly, button-down shirt, and possibly a bow-tie, proper shoes, and the like.  This will come into the story later.

The trip between our hometown and Carteret is usually short jaunt north on Route 1.  We entered the empty highway (slowly, it had snowed, and the bus was not speedy), quickly exiting our hometown and entering Edison Township.  Crossing over the township line we passed an Edison police officer sitting  alongside the road who promptly pulled out and began to follow us, first behind, then coming up on the left side, then the right, then pulling out in front, and finally falling in again behind us.  He was looking for a reason to pull us over, but I kept the vehicle in good running order, all the lights worked, and I was, as usual, paying careful attention to the rules of road and compensating for the unfavorable driving conditions.

All of this was for naught, as just before we would have passed beyond his jurisdiction, the office flipped on his overheads and pulled me over.   I turned off the motor, but turned on the hazard lights.  The bus didn't have any hear anyway, so there was no need to potentially antagonize the office by leaving the vehicle running.  The officer took his time approaching the bus, so that by the time he approached I had my license and other papers out for inspection.  He ignored my polite inquiry as to the nature of the stop and collected my papers and D's license.  He asked where we were going and from whence we had come, all questions that I answered politely, but with minimal detail.  He made a thorough inspection of the interior of the bus with his flashlight as he walked both to the bus and back to his cruiser.  We sat for sometime, ten minutes, perhaps more.  We could observe him speaking on the cb several times, and taking notes.  Eventually he returned to the bus, returned our papers and did another inspection of the interiors.  He lingered especially in looking at M.  He asked D to move aside so that he could stick his head in the window to speak with M.  This was the exchange:

Officer:  "Sir, are you okay?"
M: "Ahh.....yes?"
Officer:  "Sir, are you certain that you are okay?"
M: "Yes."
Officer:  "Sir, are you being held against your will?
M: "What?"
Officer: "Sir, are you being held against your will?" "Do you know these two men?"
M: "Excuse me?"
Officer: "Do you know these two men?"
M: "Yes, one's my college roommate and the other is a life-long friend."
Officer: "Are you certain that you are not being held against your will?"
M: "Yes."

He returned my papers and told us that we could depart, which we did, passing into the next town 100 yards up the road, where we were promptly tailed by a Woodbridge Township police cruiser, which passed us over to a Carteret cruiser that followed us to the friend's house.